Interview With The Joker
by Jessie Patchwork
Summary: A young psychologist takes on the Joker's case and later on to her surprise, the Boy Wonder. How will she cope? Read to find out read and review please


**Interview with the Joker**

Hello Joker. _Hello._ My name is Keidra Reeves and I am going to be your psychologist for the week. _Yay! Won't this be fun!_ Now I just need to find out a bit about you. _Ok._ So where were you born? _In Gotham City of course!_ What year were you born? _1940._ Who's your mother and father? _Well, I hated my Father and don't want to talk about him and I never really knew my mother._ What's your real name? _And why would I tell you that? _Ok. You don't have to if you don't want to. Now this is my last question for the day and we're done. Ok? _Ok, just get on with it. _Now, what made you hate batman so much? _ Well if he let me get away with a few more things I might not hate him! _Ok, Joker. That's all we have time for but I will see you tomorrow. _Ok. Can't wait! Good bye! _Goodbye Joker, see you tomorrow.

Hello again Joker. Are you ok? You seem… upset. Is there something you wish to talk about? _Well… as long as you don't tell anyone! _Nothing will leave this room. _Promise? _You have my word. _Well, it's about Harley. She seems to have changed. She's not her usual welcoming self. _Ok. So let me get this straight. You are worried about Harleen Quinzel and you want to know why she has changed so much. Am I correct? _Yes. So do you know wants wrong with her? _Well… why don't we bring her in here and you ask her yourself. Would you like to do that? _But she'll hurt me! _I can assure you, if she tries to attack you, the guards will take her away from here, you are quite safe. _Ok, fine! _Bring her in. (The guards bring in Harley) **I'm going to kill you! **Now, now that will do or you go back to your cell! Understand? **Fine. **Good now that we're all calm… Joker, you can come out of the corner now. It's quite safe. (Joker comes out of the corner and sits down on one of the chairs at the table) Now that Harleen is here… **It's Harley!** Fine, now that _Harley _is here, there is something Joker wants to ask you. **Ok. What? **_Why are you so angry with me? _**You really want to know? Ok, fine! **(Harley hands Joker the newspaper he sees that the headline says: _**EXTRA EXTRA JOKER ESCAPES FROM ARKHAM AND LEAVES HIS SIDEKICK BEHIND!**__ So that's what you're angry about? _**Yes. **(Harley starts to cry) _Ohh, now, now Harley. Don't cry. I was coming back for you. It's just that, I got caught before I had the chance. Otherwise I would have come back for you._ **Really? **(Wipes eyes)_Of course! How could I leave you behind?_ (Harley laughs and hugs Joker) (Batman and Robin walk in) Yes? We need to take Harley and Joker back to their cells now. Ok, so who's taking who? I'm taking Joker… And I'm taking Harley. Ok, see you tomorrow Joker and Harley? **Yes?** I shall see you later tonight, ok? **Ok. **Goodbye Harley. **Goodbye. **And goodbye Joker. _Goodbye._ (Robin takes Harley away) Wait outside the door and don't move. _Fine! Spoil my fun then! _(2 guards follow Joker out) Is there a problem Batman? It's Robin.

Ok, what about Robin? Has something happened to him to make you worried about him? Well… Yes? It's just that he hasn't been himself lately. Well, would you like me to talk to him and find out what's wrong? Yes please. Thank you. You're welcome. (Batman walks out and then Robin walks in and sits down) Now Robin. Batman is a little bit worried that something is bothering you. Is something wrong? What? No! Nothing's wrong! Say's your reaction. Ok, fine! It's school. What about school? It's one of the kids… …he seems to enjoy annoying me. Has he hurt you? Yes. Do you have evidence that he hurt you? Like a cut or a bruise? Yes. Can you please show me? Fine. (Robin shows me a deep cut ruler length down his back) Ok. Now, what I'm going to do is talk to Batman and tell him what's happened and then send him to the school to get the child that is doing this and get him to come to Arkham to talk to me. Is that ok? Yeah. That's ok. But what if he hurts me again? Then he'll come back here and get put in an isolation cell overnight and if he does it again I'll be taking him to a Juvenile Prison myself. Can you please tell me his name? Sure. His name is Bernard. Ok. Can you please go and get Batman? Sure. Oh, and Robin? Yeah? You can tell me anything. You are aware of that aren't you? Nothing leaves this room without your permission. Ok? Ok.

2 days later

(Alfred drops Dick off at Arkham Asylum) Do be careful, Master Dick. I will Alfred. (Dick walks into my office and sits down) Hey Dick. How are you? (He groans and holds the cut on his back) Not so good... (He looks at me) (A look of concern grew on my face) Do you need an ambulance to come and check you out? (A look of alarm and relief came to his face as he shakily said) But then Bernard will target me! I promise he won't lay a hand on you because number one, you won't leave my side and number two, you won't be leaving the Asylum. The paramedics will be coming in here. Is that ok? Do you want the paramedics to check you out? (Dick let's out a heavy sigh) Ok… Yes please.

Mean while with Bernard and Batman...

Hey! Let go of me! Where are you taking me?! That's for me to know and you to find out. Now move! Ok, ok I'm moving! (Batman walks Bernard into my office) (He sees Dick) You! (Dick whimpers and hides behind me) Its ok, Dick. You are quite safe. Bernard! What?! Sit down! No! Now! Don't have to! You're not my mother! (Batman growls) Sit down! Now! (Bernard growls and sits down) What do you want? (I stand myself and Dick up and show Bernard the deep, ruler length cut down his back) Did you do this? (He examines the cut and laughs) I did do a good job! (He continues laughing as Nightwing walks in with two paramedics) What's going on here? Where's the patient? (The male paramedic asks) Right here. Hey buddy. (The female paramedic kneels down in front of Dick and looks him I the eye.) Can you tell us what's wrong? (Dick let's out a heavy sigh) Here. I'll just show you... (He turns around and lifts up his top revealing the cut on his back) (The male paramedic comes over with the medical kit and asks…) Ouch mate! How did this happen? Him! (Points to Bernard) You little shit! (He lunges at Dick attacking him violently again) (Dick screams in pain) Bernard! Enough! (I pull Bernard off him) You're spending some time in Arkham and we'll see if that straightens you out! (I take him to a cell, threw him in there and locked it) (Then I ran back to my office and Dick was sitting there with a bandage wrapped around his chest and stomach) How do you feel? Great! Considering… (I throw Dick a happy but relieved glance and said…) Well I'm glad you're ok…

Mean while back with Bernard.

Let me out! I'm innocent, I swear! Oh, shut up you little whinger! The more you talk, the longer you're in here!

THE END!


End file.
